I recently read an article where an author wrote why women leave the men they love even though it seems to be heart breaking for them. They leave because the men are not emotionally present for them. She wants a man who listens to her, feels passionate about her etc etc. If men keep complaining that they don’t have time and are very busy, women feel neglected.
The response of this article was strong. Men hated this article and women loved it. Few men wrote that they have to earn, do other stuffs so how can they spare time. Women also gave their reasons that they work too and share a fair bit of the responsibilities but still give time etc etc.
My two cents :
What happens if we do not perform in our jobs? Are the excuses that I was tired or busy considered? We get few warnings and then get kicked off.
What happens when we do not take care of a plant we planted out of love. A plant needs to be taken care of regularly. It needs water, fertilizers, etc etc. It dies if neglected. Similarly relationships need care too. This applies to both men and women. Men do take a lot of efforts before marriage to convince a female how much they love them. Females also show their soft loving side before marriage. But after marriage or after committing to the relationship sometimes both take each other for granted. This is where things start to change.
Just as we take our performance in jobs seriously why should we shy away from performing in our relationships. It's not just a husband- wife or girlfriend- boyfriend relationship....but any kind of relationship needs constant care and nurturing.
Instead of saying we have to do it......and consider it as a burden...we should say we choose to do it and enjoy it. Lets cherish and be grateful for the people we have in our life. Lets keep showering love to the person whom we say we love. We cannot take anything for granted….and if we do we should not complain or crib after we loose it. Just like a sunflower keeps facing the sun, humans get attracted to the person from whom they get love.
The best and holy relationship is of a mother and child. If a mother does not give love, will a child keep loving and respecting her just because of the tag ‘mother’? Isn’t a mother being criticized if she does not take good care of her kids? So imagine the expectation level from other relationships.
I know we all are stressed and frustrated by just trying to survive….Life is hard. But love is easy. Just 10 mins of full focused conversation and attention can change everything. Instead of blaming lets be more tolerant and more compassionate. Again this applies to both men and women.
If we love someone….we just have to Love….no judgments, no blaming, no deception - "Just Love".
~ Rupali Chatterjee