We often find our self making efforts trying to accept our family and friends. We take care not to react to their words and behavior
and think we are accepting, but we need to check our feelings. We do not react, but if we hold the feeling of hurt, then we have not accepted, we have only suppressed. This suppression helps us to be on our best behavior with others, it gets us their approval and appreciation, but we are causing damage to our self. The first stage was not to react in behavior, the next stage is not to react in thoughts and feelings.
Acceptance means understanding the other person’s sanskar and not allowing it to disturb our mind. For eg. If we are sitting in prayer or meditation at home, we do not get disturbed by the traffic and hawkers on the road, but we get disturbed by a mobile ringing in the room. We have accepted the traffic noise and even though it is loud, it does not disturb our mind. We expected the mobile to be silent and so lack of acceptance causes the mind to get disturbed even by a beautiful soft ringtone. The mind does not get disturbed by the external noise, but by the internal noise of Why, How, What, that it creates about things it does not accept. Accept their sanskar means do not create any questions about it – IT IS THEIR SANSKAR and as of now it may not change. For eg. If they have a sanskar of anger or doubt or criticism or jealousy…accept it…no questions – how could they behave like this, is this the way to talk, should they not trust me, why do they not respect me? Acceptance means the internal noise of question stops. The silent mind is stable and now responds proactively. Stability becomes our protection and then we choose the right response of giving in to what they want or assertively putting across our point.
Acceptance does not mean to let others trample over you. Acceptance means to remain stable, assertive and powerful.
[Courtesy: BK Shivani]
Wow, very well explained.....loved the entire article...